5 Things Sex and the City taught me about life

I love to re-watch Sex and the City. I do it every year.

I did not see the show until 2006. My husband brought back the series for me from one of his business trips. He had been traveling a lot and knew I liked to watch TV series on DVD to pass the time when he was away – obviously that was WAY before I started blogging!

I instantly fell in love with the girls. And New York. Or at least the New York of SATC. I have only been to New York City once. I was fourteen or fifteen and went with my family on a trip during Thanksgiving. I hope to get to that city (we also call it San Francisco, so I need to be specific!) sometime this year. I know that I will be going with SATC-colored glasses, so my expectations may be a little high.

This got me thinking about how much the show has impacted my life. In fact, I learned many lessons by watching and rewatching those four women over six years. I thought I would share 5 that I picked up from Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda, and Samantha.

So what did Sex and the City really teach me about life? At its heart, the show is a masterclass in female friendship, accepting yourself, savoring everyday pleasures, brushing off embarrassment, and holding out for real love. Below are the five lessons that have stuck with me through every single rewatch.

Here are the five lessons at a glance:

• Your girlfriends are your soulmates
• It’s okay to talk about anything
• Eating and drinking are part of real life
• People have short memories, so let it go
• You never forget The One

Lesson 1: Your girlfriends are your soulmates

There were so many examples of women being evil and awful and competitive with their friends. This was the first time I really got to see the strength of female friendships. An unconditional love that no matter what happens, no matter what men come and go, no matter what jobs you get or don't get, no matter what crisis, you can always rely on your friends to support you.

Bros before hoes, the female version, as I always say. The show made the radical case that our girlfriends are not the supporting cast of our lives but the main event, the people who show up when the men, the jobs, and the plans all fall through.

“Maybe we can be each other’s soulmates. And then we can let men be just these great, nice guys to have fun with.” — Charlotte York

Lesson 2: It’s okay to talk about anything

It was the first time (except for Friends) that I observed women talking about their life experiences, all their experiences. It gave a sense of respectability to women's conversations with other women – from sex toys to female masturbation, there was such empowerment in their words. These were not hen sessions behind closed doors but conversations at dinner tables or in the back of taxi cabs, and it was revolutionary!

I love this quote from Natasha Walter, author of The New Feminism, “SATC expresses the level of sexual confidence that independent women have now without ever suggesting that they are heartless or slutty or out of control.”

That openness still feels ahead of its time. Talking honestly about our lives, without shame and without lowering our voices, is how women give each other permission to stop apologizing.

“I will not be judged by you or society.” — Samantha Jones

Lesson 3: Eating and drinking are part of real life

Although they were all fairly thin, these girls ate and drank! They were always eating or snacking on something or drinking some kind of alcohol. The only exception was the whole brownie-in-the-garbage episode, but you didn't see them diet or complain about their weight (except for the occasional thigh comment from Charlotte!)

There is something freeing about watching four women order the cosmopolitan, meet for brunch, and never once treat food as the enemy. Real life is meant to be tasted, and a good meal with good friends is one of its simplest pleasures.

“I’d like a cheeseburger, please, large fries, and a Cosmopolitan!” — Carrie Bradshaw

Lesson 4: People have short memories, so let it go

No one is going to remember that you tripped, stuttered, stumbled, or made a fool of yourself five minutes after you do it. How many disasters did Carrie find herself in that did nothing to deviate from her fabulousness! As someone who finds herself in awkward situations from time to time, it was refreshing to see that Carrie could not be shaken!

The lesson underneath it is really about forgiveness, of yourself most of all. The embarrassing moment you are replaying at 2 a.m. left everyone else’s mind hours ago, so you may as well let it go too and get on with being fabulous.

“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe you have to let go of who you were to become who you will be.” — Carrie Bradshaw

Lesson 5: You never forget The One, and Paris is for lovers

There is always someone. Someone who is in and out of your life. One day you are friends. Another, you are not. This relationship defines you. Causes the greatest joy. The greatest anguish. Just when you think The One is out of your system, and you let your guard down, watch out; that's exactly when your life will be disrupted again.

I imagine that Paris can be quite fun for singles. But everyone knows Paris is for lovers. You may think it could be any lover, and maybe it can, but there is something absolutely exhilarating about being in Paris with your one. This is why those last two episodes of Season Six, An American Girl in Paris – Part Une and Part Deux, are my favorite!

If those Paris episodes are your favorites too, you will love wandering the real Sex and the City filming locations in Paris, from the Hôtel Plaza Athénée to the little bridges Carrie crossed while looking for Big.

“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” — Carrie Bradshaw

Frequently Asked Questions

In Closing

More than a show about shoes and cosmopolitans, Sex and the City has been a companion through the years, and a quiet teacher about friendship, courage, and love. Every rewatch, I pick up something new, which is probably why I keep coming back to it year after year.

Those were my takeaways. How about you? Were there lessons you learned from Sex and the City? Tell me in the comments below, and if this brought back your own SATC memories, share it with the girlfriends who are your soulmates.