How To Entertain Like The French

Meals in France are a big deal! A celebration of friendship and togetherness, French meals last for hours, with long conversations, full plates, and glasses that never seem to empty. Entertaining in France is almost like an art form, and not everyone can do it. Hosting is a skill deeply woven into French culture, and it can take time to get right. 

The short answer: to entertain like the French, keep the menu simple, start the evening with an apéro, serve the courses in order (starter, main course, salad, cheese, dessert, and coffee), and let the evening unfold slowly with no rush to the door. Effortless French entertaining is less about a perfect menu and more about good company.

As I have previously lived in France, have been married to a French man for more than 20 years, and have tons of expat friends married to Frenchies as well, I have had lots of experience as both a guest and a host!

So how do you entertain like the French? Here are the essentials for hosting à la française, plus what to know if you are the guest.

Simplify your meals

French hosts keep the menu short, buy what they do not have time to make, and spend the evening at the table with their guests.

While the French can be quite picky, they tend to be less fussy about meals at someone’s place. Your dishes don’t have to look like plates straight out of a Pinterest page. Stick to three or four things; the lesser the better.

Plan your menu in advance so you don’t spend too much time in the kitchen when guests arrive. The French prefer to shop more and cook less so they can spend quality time with their guests (plus, their kitchens are usually tiny!). A delicious, healthy option is to head to the farmer’s market and get fresh produce you can easily roast or sauté and serve with something else.

New to French markets? My guide to French market etiquette will help you shop like a local. Not sure what to cook? Browse my 25 fantastic French dinner recipes for menu ideas.

Don’t forget the classic structure of a French meal: entrée, plat et dessert (starters, main course, and dessert). At a dinner party, a salad and a cheese course usually come in between, and the full order is below.  If it seems like a lot of work, don’t hesitate to order the dessert or starters from your favorite boulangerie.

Need ideas? My French dessert recipes are a good place to start.

Embrace l’heure d’apéro

An apéro (short for apéritif) is the drinks and snacks served before dinner, and it often lasts an hour or more.

In France, arriving right on time or a few minutes after the invited time is the norm, and showing up early can catch your host off guard, or they may still be getting ready. A good rule of thumb is to arrive on time or up to about 15 minutes late, but never early. But it can get irksome when guests are always late.

A great way to avoid this is to start with l’heure d’apéro. Providing drinks and snacks to nibble on while everyone arrives is a great way to help guests relax and wait. The aim is not only to pass the time but also to whet appetites with simple nibbles.

What do you serve at an apéro? Think chilled drinks such as kir, crémant, rosé, a spritz, or a fizzy juice, plus easy things to nibble on like olives, nuts, chips, saucisson, and a simple dip. Keep a carafe of water on the table too. Your guests are about to sit down to a long dinner, so keep the snacks light.

If you would rather skip the sit-down meal altogether, an apéro dinatoire is a bigger spread of small bites that stands in for dinner.

It’s the perfect time for a charcuterie board!

The Order of a French Dinner Party

A classic French dinner moves from apéro to starter, main course, salad, cheese, dessert, and coffee, often finishing with a digestif.

1. L’apéro: drinks and nibbles while everyone arrives.
2. L’entrée: a light starter, such as a soup, a terrine, or something seasonal.
3. Le plat: the main course, with its sides.
4. La salade: a simple green salad, dressed just before serving, to refresh the palate.
5. Le fromage: a small cheese course served with fresh bread.
6. Le dessert: often a tart, fresh fruit, or something homemade.
7. Le café: coffee, usually served after dessert rather than with it.
8. Le digestif: a small glass of cognac, armagnac, or calvados for anyone who wants one.

Not every dinner has every course, and the order can vary by region and by family, but this is the classic flow.

Table Decor

No matter how simple your meal is, it is essential to have a well-set table; it makes all the difference. You don’t need too many things to bring some elegance to the table. Make an effort with good cutlery and plates. Cover up with a tablecloth and have fresh linens ready. Mix and match is always a good idea as long as you bring it all together with a common thread.

Don’t hesitate to bring out your grandma’s fine china or the vintage napkins you keep in the closet for special occasions. Add in a few trinkets here and there, like flowers or a candelabra, to make the table more fascinating. You can also add a few flea market finds, which make great conversation starters.

Use stemmed glasses if you have them, and as the host, keep an eye on your guests’ glasses and top them up. Traditionally, guests wait to be served rather than pour their own. If you want to bring a little French style to the rest of your space, see How to Frenchify Your Home.

The aim here is to make the table interesting without too much clutter.

Set the Mood with Lighting and Music

A key part of mastering French entertaining is setting the mood with the right lighting and music. The trick is to balance the senses without overpowering any of them. Bad lighting can cause great discomfort and quickly become a buzzkill.

If safety isn’t an issue, light up a few tea candles and scatter them around the house to create an intimate mood. Scented candles can help keep food odors in check in the kitchen or entryway, but keep them away from the dinner table and choose a light scent so it does not compete with the food.

To create a more intimate mood for after the meal, when the conversations can slow down to a lull, introduce soft background music to relax and aid you in light chit-chat.

Bread, Cheese, and Wine

A French dinner doesn’t need many choices, just a few good things: fresh bread, three or four cheeses, and wine you would be happy to drink.

Can you even call it a French meal without some bread, cheese, and wine? You do not need a huge selection, but a cheese course is a classic part of a French dinner. Three or four cheeses is plenty: something firm like Comté, something soft like Camembert or a fresh goat cheese, and a blue like Roquefort.

For wine, one white or rosé to start and one red for the main course and cheese is enough.  Keep it simple, but don’t skimp on quality. They don’t have to be expensive. Serve the cheese after the main course and salad and before dessert, and take it out of the fridge a little while before so it is at its best.

Try to find some interesting brands that you would love to share with your friends or ones with newer textures and flavors that can become a conversation piece. Choose something your guests are bound to remember.

As for bread, it is the heart of any French meal. A simple baguette will go a long way. Keep it on the table throughout the meal, and skip the butter, since people usually enjoy bread at dinner plain. To learn why the baguette matters so much, read The French Baguette in the UNESCO List.

Start With an Apéritif, End With a Digestif

A French meal usually starts with an apéritif like kir or champagne and can end with a digestif such as cognac.

Most French meals begin with an aperitif, so it feels natural to end with a digestif. An aperitif is designed to open the appetites of the guests, whereas a digestif aids digestion.

It’s traditional to begin meals with kir or champagne and end with a small glass of cognac, armagnac, or calvados, but if some guests prefer to keep drinking wine, that’s okay too. For a true Provençal vibe, serve anise-flavored drinks like pastis for apéro. 

Always have something alcohol-free on offer, like sparkling water or a fizzy juice, so every guest feels included.

Here are some classic French cocktail recipes to help you out.

How Long Does a French Dinner Party Last?

A French dinner party easily runs for several hours. The apéro alone can last an hour or more, followed by a slow, multi course meal, coffee, and conversation at the table. Dinner often starts after 7:30 in the evening, so do not plan to rush your guests out the door, and do not plan anything for afterward. Lingering is the whole point.

If You Are a Guest at a French Dinner Party

Invited to a French home? A few simple habits will help you fit right in.

What time should you arrive?

Aim to arrive on time or up to about 15 minutes late. Avoid arriving early. If you are running later than that, send your host a quick text.

How should you greet everyone?

Greet your host first, and at a party, say hello to each guest individually. Among friends, this often comes with la bise, the cheek kiss, but follow your host’s lead.

Should you take your shoes off?

In many French homes, shoes come off at the door, especially in apartments and in muddy or rainy weather. Offer to remove yours and let your host tell you if it is not needed. Some hosts even keep a basket of slippers by the door.

What should you bring?

Bring something small. For an apéro, savory snacks like chips, saucisson, or hummus work well. For dinner, chocolates, flowers, or a bottle of something bubbly or rosé are safe choices. Wine is a common gift too, though some hosts have already chosen the wine to go with the meal. Skip chrysanthemums, which are tied to funerals in France, and check with your host first if you want to bring a homemade dessert.

When do you start eating?

Wait until everyone has a drink before the toast, and wait until everyone, including the host, has been served before you take your first bite.

When should you leave?

A French dinner can run for hours, so settle in. Offer to help clear the table, but do not be surprised if your host waves you off, and always thank them for the meal. Do not sneak out without saying goodbye. The French call that filer à l’anglaise, or leaving like the English.

French Entertaining FAQ

Et voila! You’re all set to host your meals like a true French host. The French love to entertain, but they also love to keep it simple and have fun.

Don’t forget the meal is about being with your loved ones and enjoying conversation. Keep the food simple and the drinks flowing, and you’re all set.

Whether you are hosting at home or sitting at someone else’s table, the secret is the same: slow down, keep it simple, and enjoy the people around you. That is French entertaining at its best. Try an apéro or a cheese course at your next get-together and tell me how it goes in the comments.

Focus on creating a memorable experience!

How about you? Have you been to a dinner party in France? Would you want to recreate one? Have you hosted a French-style meal? Do tell!

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