How to Be a French Girl: Embrace the Aesthetic, Style & Lifestyle

Being a French girl is less about where you were born and more about a mindset: buying less but better, caring for your skin more than your makeup, savoring your meals, and moving through life a little more slowly and deliberately. The good news is that anyone can cultivate it, wherever they live.

Many women (and frankly men too) around the world idolize the idealized view of being French. The concept of “Frenchness” usually leans towards the following attributes: elegant, mysterious, stylish, a smooth conversationalist, and seductive.

We can debate whether that is right or wrong, but what cannot be debated is that while hundreds of trends come and go every year, the world’s obsession with the French doesn’t seem to dwindle. The je ne sais quoi of the unbothered yet put-together French woman captivates women across the globe.

I choose to believe that a French girl resides inside every member of the fairer sex, and is waiting to be awakened to the charming concepts of quality materials, fine dining, and cherishing alone time dedicated to pampering and self-care routines.

The world’s romanticized view of the French look persists (see chic, minimal, and effortlessly beautiful with a baguette under her arm), but every woman’s inner French girl looks different, and that’s what makes them so special. (Mon amie Lindsey wrote an entire book on what Parisiennes look like today.)

And while a lot of us strive to master the idealized French look one day, for now, we can learn to unlock and indulge our inner French girl by adopting a few lifestyle changes.

Here is a basic guide to activating the stirrings of your inner French girl.

The French Girl Mindset at a Glance

If you only take away a handful of things, start here. To be a French girl:

1. Build a small wardrobe of quality pieces you genuinely love.
2. Choose a signature scent and wear it as your own.
3. Care for your skin so you can wear less makeup.
4. Eat real food slowly, and savor every meal.
5. Make your home a calm sanctuary.
6. Speak a little less, listen more, and keep some mystery.
7. Slow down and let go of the rush.
8. Work to live, rather than living to work.

Dress Like a French Girl: Style & Wardrobe

French girl style comes down to a few timeless pieces that fit beautifully and a little confidence in how you wear them. Here is how to build it.

Build a French Girl Capsule Wardrobe

The French take ‘Less is more’ seriously. A touch of personal style paired with classic pieces is all you need in France. The French woman believes in investing in key, classic items that transcend seasons and trends. Because most Parisian apartments lack space, they have a knack for decluttering and keeping a minimal wardrobe.

Instead of accumulating a ton of clothes, a French woman builds a capsule wardrobe of basic yet top-quality pieces. The aim here is to own long-lasting pieces that can be paired with multiple things from your closet. And then, for fun, add trendy pieces as accents.

I have written more articles on this topic; find them here:

• How to Dress Like French Women
• Dressing for the Holidays with a Capsule Wardrobe from Chico’s
• Creating a Travel Capsule Wardrobe

Know Your Tailoring and Fit

Style is of utmost importance to the French, and it seems to come naturally to most of them (maybe that’s why they call it effortlessly chic!). Well-fitted clothes that pair with almost everything are a must in any wardrobe. The French carefully curate a closet that highlights and accents their figures. It requires a bit of trial and error, but the result is worth it – a wardrobe that is uniquely you.

Most French styles are trendless. Wearing comfortable clothes that make you look and feel beautiful matters more than fleeting fashion fads that come and go. Wear what makes you look fabulous, and you’re halfway there. Looking polished and refined doesn’t mean spending a fortune on every shopping trip.

French style is a mix of classic and effortless, cool but not arrogant. To sum it up, it’s a perfect balance between looking dressed up and laid-back.

If you want to explore French fashion while you are visiting Paris, here are some options:

• My friend Kasia Dietz (the Parisian handbag queen herself) has several fashion tours that are magnifique!
• Take a private tour (outside of the publicly open hours) at the Musée Yves Saint Laurent Paris to get a peek into one of the most famous Paris fashion houses.
• Check out a private fashion show held on Fridays at Galeries Lafayette on Blvd Haussmann.
• Have someone help shop like the French with a local during the Discount Couture: The Ultimate Paris Shopping Tour.

Treat Yourself to Stunning Lingerie

No one knows how to self-care and pamper yourself better than a French woman. From skincare routines and sensual clothing to an excellent Chiraz and a decadent piece of chocolate, French women know how to make themselves feel valued.

A key pampering activity for most French women is wearing beautiful lingerie. It is an essential wardrobe item and a confidence booster.

While most people don’t see what you’re wearing underneath, gorgeous pieces of lingerie are like a sexy secret kept all to yourself. Many French women match their lingerie. So, if you don’t have any matching pairs, this might be the time to invest in some. If nothing else, they make you feel alluring and sensual, just like the women in your favorite novels and movies.

Revealing a little more…

• The Lingerie Addict wrote a timeless article: How to Shop for Lingerie in Paris
• Bonjour Paris also has The Ultimate Lingerie Guide to Paris

The French Girl Beauty Approach: Scent & Skin

French beauty is built on restraint. A signature scent, healthy skin, and a light hand with makeup do most of the work.

Adopt a Signature French Perfume

In short, the French tend to choose one signature fragrance and wear it as their own rather than chasing every new release. A discussion of French lifestyle and fashion is incomplete without mentioning perfume. Having a unique scent that becomes an integral part of your identity is considered a necessity. The French usually have a variety of perfumes for different moods and occasions, but finding your signature scent comes first.

It is no coincidence that the French have long been known for their love of beauty and fragrance, which is evident in the world-renowned perfumes that come out of Paris. The French didn't invent this form of fragrance, but they certainly made it their own.

Choosing a fragrance is like choosing a good wine; it’s all about personal taste. It is an art form that requires careful selection, meant to serve as a personal olfactory reminder for friends and loved ones.

I am a huge fan of the Serge Lutens boutique in Palais Royale (142 Galerie De Valois in the 1st Arrondissement). The store is a great place to explore the wide range of scents in perfumes and experiment with the ones that work best with your body.

Personally, my perfume choices have changed as I've gotten older. For the last decade, I have worn various scents from the Hermès Jardin Collection. And you only have to go to Sephora to try them! They have a nice “starter kit” with 4 of the Jardin scents, and they sell full sizes in many of them; for example, I'm currently using Un Jardin sur le Nil.

Don't be afraid to play around and experiment until you find the scent you like and captivates those around you!

If you are interested in exploring perfume while in Paris, check out these opportunities:

• Paris 2-Hour Perfume Walking Tour
• Paris: Perfume Discovery Workshop
• 2-Hour Perfume Creation Course in Paris
• Paris: Perfume Workshop

There is also the perfume museum, Musée du Parfum or Fragonard Musée du Parfum (9 Rue Scribe) located in the 9th Arrondissement.

Embrace the French No Makeup Look

The French no-makeup look is really a healthy-skin look: minimal product, one feature emphasized, and hair left a little undone. Walking down the streets of Paris, you will notice that you do not see a ton of women with a whole lot of makeup. The French are so discreet and subtle that everyone knows how to perfect the ‘no-makeup’ look.

French beauty focuses on highlighting your strengths, rather than hiding or changing yourself. With flawless skin and glossy hair, a French woman doesn’t need extensive makeup or an elaborate hairdo to look beautiful.

I learned so much in Clemence von Mueffling’s book Ageless Beauty the French Way: Secrets from Three Generations of French Beauty Editors. Things like, either emphasize your lips or your eyes, but not both.

By indulging in skincare products and a good skincare routine, everyone can achieve the French no-makeup look. Embracing slightly messy hair is a typical French trait. Creating a casual look by letting your hair down or with a few bobby pins is almost always the right way to go.

I have written more articles on this topic; find them here:

• French Beauty Secrets
• French beauty and self-care: My Routine à la Française
• French Girl Beauty Routine: Skincare, Products, and Pharmacy Secrets

Live Like a French Girl: La Vie Française

The French girl aesthetic is really a way of living. These everyday habits are what bring it all together.

Savor Your Meals and Eat Like a French Woman

The French love food! Mealtimes are sacred for the French. At home, French women prefer meals made with fresh ingredients and unprocessed products. Think of cooking as a ritual, rather than a chore.

Create a relaxed atmosphere free of distractions and work. Make preparing and eating food an art form. Take the time to don an apron, pour a glass of wine, and cook to your favorite tunes.

At a restaurant, a bit of the same. Try to be present and free of distractions. Go slow, don't rush. Enjoy the conversation, savor the food (hey, you didn't have to cook it!), and relax!

So how do French women actually eat, and stay slim without dieting? They eat real, fresh food in modest portions, they rarely snack between meals (the French even have a word for it, le grignotage, and mostly avoid it), and they shop for what is in season every few days. They drink water far more than sweet drinks, they walk almost everywhere, and they let a good meal stretch out, sometimes close to two hours, because the pleasure of eating well is the whole point.

Respect Your Personal Space

Creating a relaxing space to live in and taking regular care of it is very important for a French woman. Make sure you create a sanctuary, a safe place, out of your home – a peaceful place to come back to when the world around you is in shambles.

Take time to clean and declutter your home every once in a while. Add in touches of your personality, and don’t focus on the latest interior trends. A French woman knows that her home is an extension of her identity and should remain uniquely hers.

I've written more about this topic in How To Create A French Hygge Style.

Master the Art of Silence and Mystery

A French woman is never afraid to be quiet. The art of being discreet is an innate French quality that everyone can and should acquire. Talking to fill an awkward silence is not a very French thing to do. Don’t be afraid of the lull in a conversation.

Take the time to let your thoughts marinate before you speak. Remain a bit of a mystery and your life will thank you for it. And if you ever find yourself without an answer, do the most French gesture a person can do – shrug your shoulders and make an indescribable noise to move the conversation in another direction (trust me, it always works!).

Slow Down and Take Your Time

If you’ve lived in France, you know patience runs the country, even if the French aren't necessarily known for it (I am looking at you, Mr. Misadventures!).

Maybe it is less about patience and more about persistence. From ordering a coffee to surviving the French bureaucracy at the prefectures, you need patience!

While these concepts might frustrate you, a lesson is hidden somewhere. The French know how to be patient and slow down from time to time. One way to channel your inner French girl is to learn to stay calm in the middle of chaos.

Take your time to think, talk, and do things in your day-to-day life. Being in a hurry has never helped anyone. By taking your time, you train yourself to think before reacting and ground yourself in life’s stressful situations.

I wrote about this a bit more in my Paris for the First Time post.

Work to Live, Not Live to Work

Each of us is guilty of spending days and nights finishing a project while ignoring our personal lives. There will always be more work, but that shouldn’t stop us from enjoying life. A French woman would never work during her lunch breaks or spend the entire weekend buried in trying to reach that deadline.

In fact, to “help” you with work/life balance, there are those famous “laws” you might have heard mentioned many times in Season 2 of Emily in Paris, something I wrote a little about in Things about the French Culture + Quirks You Can Learn While Watching Emily in Paris.

Time is precious, and a French woman knows how to expertly balance it between work and the simple pleasures of life. In short, focus on creating a fuller life rather than just making a living.

Practice a Little French Every Day

Perhaps the easiest way to channel your inner French woman is to practice your French! You don’t necessarily have to be fluent as long as you can converse and communicate your simple thoughts. Start by watching French movies, listening to French music, and reading French books. This will help you become more familiar with the language and the culture.

Frequently Asked Questions About Being a French Girl

Let Your Inner French Girl Free

These are just a few ways to indulge and let your inner French girl free. Your inner French girl will look different than mine, but take these points as a stepping stone to finding your ideal version!

How about you? Have you found ways to let your inner French girl thrive? Do tell!

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